by Chris Cumo

ALL GRADUATION SPEECHES come in the same cookie-cutter mold. Every speaker, whether at Georgetown, San Diego State University, Texas A & M or Oberlin, repeats the bland mantra: commencement is not an end, but rather a beginning that opens doors to the future. However, newly-minted Ph.D.s find these doors shut or leading down endless labyrinths. Most do not land on the tenure track, a truth that becomes ingrained only after the Ph.D. is in hand, and must instead scramble to cobble together a few classes at the local colleges.

While in this holding pattern they find that their real job is not teaching composition or introduction to philosophy or grading 300 essays, but finding a full-time position. They immerse themselves in The Chronicle of Higher Education and the job listings of the Modern Language Association, the American Historical Association or whatever organization is the flagship of their discipline. Those with the stamina wade through thousands of jobs on Monster.com or CareerMosaic.

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